Revolting Behavior at the Oak Room Tonight

[SomerGirl78]

I had two lovely and dear friends visit me this weekend. They wanted to see Yosemite and share a love filled Valentine's Day together. They are a gay couple, and both are very good and gentle men. They are both kind and loving, forgiving and nonjudgemental. We went out to dinner, then I took them both to the Oak Room for a couple of drinks and a round of pool. What a mistake! Not only did my quarter on the pool table to mark the next game get purposely ignored, but it was stolen and our game was denied us. Also, as my two male friends stood in the outside smoking room talking to each other and holding each others' hands, I noticed a group of young "men" loudly talking about the "****" and looking directly at my friends.

I am completely DISGUSTED and ASHAMED at the judgemental and aggressive behavior displayed by these young "men". Did their parents not teach them to be respectful of other human beings regardless of their differences? Did they not teach them that they are not high enough to judge other people? Did they not tell them that they are only human and are not to behave like they are better than any other based on their own opinion of what should be? Do these whitebread boys treat women or Blacks the same way that they treated my gay friends? I am ashamed to be associated with this community when we are represented by such narrow-minded and high-and-mighty "men" as these wittle bitty 25 year old boys that don't know how to deal with people that are different from them. My oh my, what poor feeble minded boys!

My friends were mature and decent enough to leave the Oak Room with a smile on their faces and a feeling of pride of their strength resting on their backs. They left this bar knowing that they are better people than the "children" that wanted to portray them as lesser citizens. Who do these people think they are, trying to make two good men feel like they are a lesser breed of people because they happen to not be sexually attracted to vaginas? I am ashamed and embarrassed to be associated with the people at the Oak Room that displayed this gross behavior on this night, and I have apologized to my friends on the behalf of the backwoods rednecks that assumed they are in societies better graces than they are. I pray for the forgiveness of the judgemental people that tried to back my friends into a corner tonight and tried to make them feel like they are less loved and good than they are. I pray the Lord will teach them that they are in no position to judge other people on His behalf and they only have the right to love others, and not to berate them.

[CatdaBrat]

What a shame something like that happened, Somer. I would be embarrassed/angry, too. It has been my observation that people who make fun of and ridicule other people are extremely insecure, have a low opinion of themselves and view anybody different as a threat. They may ACT all big and better, but all they are doing is trying to make themselves appear better by attempting to knock other people down. They might as well be wearing T-shirts that say, "I am a loser."

But they don't need to wear T-shirts because the rest of us can see what they are, thanks to their blatant behavior. Add a good measure of ignorance and small-mindedness to all those insecurities they harbor and get those good ol' boys into a small-town bar, and voila! Instant sphincters!

[TOT]

This is exactly why i'm not always sure my friends coming to visit me is a good idea and why some of them wouldn't be comfortable in doing so.

I'm so sorry this happened to you/your friends.

http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/rant420.gif This area really gets to me sometimes.

[Yosemite_Wolf]

thats why we call it the Joke Room. (I prefer to see Stone River at Blue Heron instead of <STRIKE>oak room</STRIKE> oops Joke Room.

[Lacey]

This happens in all areas, so I wouldn't put down the area for a few simple minded morons!

You asked the question about them being taught not to judge etc. It has been my experience that our nation, for the most part, has gotten totally away from teaching respect and acceptance for others. A majority of Children and young adults sas their elders and basically treat people with total disrespect. Before moving to the mountains I was a teacher's aide in an elementary school in Fresno and I could not believe how the kids talked to the adults.

As for these young people at the bar, their next life God will send them back as gay people. After all...the best way to learn is to walk in their shoes. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif

[Surfus]

ya all drunks at the oak room dont respect anyone. This is why I dont go to bars.
I have never been to the oak room ever until Mat and the gang pulled me in a few months ago I was there 10 minutes and just had to get out of there.
To much smoke
Too many A holes
Band way to loud
I hear just after I left there was a fight between some anti war people and a few of our military folks on leave.

Next time take them to the Thorne

[beautiful_mess38]

As Lacey said this does happen everywhere but more so in towns like our because of the narrowmindedness.

Also some parents put down the society of gays and lesbians therefore the kids do to.

I really don't like going to the Oakroom because those young people don't know how to act. It drives me crazy.

There is so much competitiveness to be perfect it's actually funny to watch.

I'm sorry that your friends had to go thru this in our town and they are better people for leaving with thier heads held high.

[rimalicious]

I am sorry for that experience too. It is rediculous but unfortunately not surprising.

[Yosemite_Wolf]

exactly right Rima.... hopefully SRB doesnt get a bad rep for the a**holes that play pool there. (I know they wont cos SRB is much better than that and their rep preceeds them as wonderful, sweet? nice musicians)

[CatdaBrat]

too bad there aren't more higher quality places up here for musicians to appear at.

[Yosemite_Wolf]

yeah Cat... thats why I have a frustrated musician here at my house.... if he went out and played... most ppl wouldnt understand him.

[Kahlua Kid]

Originally posted by Surfus:

Next time take them to the Thorne

I don't like the OakRoom - for whatever reason. Just not my kind of place.

But the Coffee Roasting House is a cool venue - as are other bars around... Thorn... Pines... Blue Heron...

When Cactus Jack's was having the Mountain Idol contest -- one of the contestants was a Black Gay man - and the redneck types were making fun of him off to the side. I honestly was concerned for his safety - afraid of what might take place in a dark parking lot.

The world judges too harshly. Honestly, if someone chooses an alternative lifestyle, and it doesn't affect anyone else, who cares? Each to their own.

[SheilaMae]

As Rima said - not surprising. The only thing surprising to me unfortunately is your surprise, Pinkie - DUH, Somergirl, (I was distracted by your pink roses avatar - OOPS!.) It's been commented here often re: the immaturity displayed routinely at the Oak Room. And Lacey's observance of behaviour in school is on target considering the number of frequenters of that location not so far removed from school days.

But besides that, I'm not sure that even in a more mature setting it would be much different here. I've made an observance in the almost 5 yrs I've lived here that this community as a whole just isn't a PDA (public display of affection) sort. Never mind sexual orientation...you don't even see mothers hold their babies much openly. Car seat, to shopping cart seat or stroller, infant swings, punkin seats...I know one mom who is the exception and seems to have her infant/young toddler super-glued to her torso and it's a pure joy to see!

Some of us who communicate via computer with regularity have become prolific in typing {{{hugs}}} on occassion but in real face to face we don't often give them. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/sad3.gif (There are exceptions - and one of our own OO fellas is on my all-time top 5 best huggers list and I'm sure without a doubt if any of you has ever been a recipient of one of his hugs you KNOW who I'm talkin' about!)

[Surfus]

Originally posted by SheilaMae:
Some of us who communicate via computer with regularity have become prolific in typing {{{hugs}}} on occassion but in real face to face we don't often give them. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/sad3.gif (There are exceptions - and one of our own OO fellas is on my all-time top 5 best huggers list and I'm sure without a doubt if any of you has ever been a recipient of one of his hugs you KNOW who I'm talkin' about!)
http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/grouphug.gif / http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/bussi.gif

[BGW]

I read this sad story last night before going to bed. My first thought was: Well....look where you were. I know that sounds mean but the Joke Room is not famous for being politically correct.

I also agree with SheilaMae on her comments about public displays of affection. There is a fellow OOF-er that can tell a tale of being laughed at and pointed out and subsequently made to blush for being teased about his very open displays of heterosexual affection while at the Oak Room.

The irony of the Oak Room is that I have a gay friend that claims he gets hit on more and meets more gays at the Oak Room than at the gay bars down in Fresno.

Go figure

[SomerGirl78]

Thanks, everyone, for being understanding. I was worried that when I came online this morning to check the responses to my post that I might have been slammed, but the people on this forum seem to be very supportive and I appreciate that. Also, I am not quite as angry this morning as I was last night when I wrote that post. LOL I am still hurt that this happened, but whatever...it happened and I'm sure my friends are used to that type of treatment. I guess I'M not used to it.

Anyway, where is the Thorn and the Blue Heron? I have never heard of either, and I'd love to check out the other places up here because I don't think I want to go back to the Joke Room. Although the band was VERY cool. Thanks again everyone for being understanding and supportive. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif

[Dodgergirl]

Originally posted by SomerGirl78:
Thanks, everyone, for being understanding. I was worried that when I came online this morning to check the responses to my post that I might have been slammed, but the people on this forum seem to be very supportive and I appreciate that. Also, I am not quite as angry this morning as I was last night when I wrote that post. LOL I am still hurt that this happened, but whatever...it happened and I'm sure my friends are used to that type of treatment. I guess I'M not used to it.

Anyway, where is the Thorn and the Blue Heron? I have never heard of either, and I'd love to check out the other places up here because I don't think I want to go back to the Joke Room. Although the band was VERY cool. Thanks again everyone for being understanding and supportive. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif

The Thorn is the classy bar attached to the Velvet Rose restaurant.

[Kim]

It's a damn shame that this happened. I didn't see it, and I was there all night, but I know it can be nerve-wracking. And if I had seen it, the punks would've heard my opinion of them. I hate that crap. I don't think the behavior of folks at a bar ever reflects on the band unless people who are known to be associated with the band consistently cause trouble.
I have a friend who's gay, and been friends with Epic and me for years, and he doesn't see the band at the Oak Room. He knows better. He has the right to be safe there, but common sense tells him to avoid it. Just as we women have the right to walk down the street safely at night alone but we don't do that.

[Summer]

Yeah, I've been to the Oakroom twice. Second time I was there it was fun only because I met a bunch of OF people there. But actually its a dive. I would never take any of my guests there - straight or gay - but especially not gay! It's redneck city at its peak. I'm not a bit surprised that the gay couple got insulted. My kids have been insulted just because they were "flat landers". http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/rolleyes2.gif

[CatdaBrat]

an opinion i share

[Mibrew]

Ive been to the Oakroom several times, and the last time I went and saw The Stone Ridge Band, and I had a guy try and pick up on me, but I also have gay friends (male & female)and it really didnt bother me, I'm pretty open minded, but I just told him "its really not my cup of tea" and that was it, the service was terrible, (trying to get a drink) also the smoke from all smokers turned me off, but it also where I found the Pin Ball machine that I like, that I later bought : )

[oakhurstleaf]

Stone Ridge band? Never heard of 'em. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif

I've never been to the Oak Room, Oak Tomb, Joke Room dive bar http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/laugh.gif. Don't think you'll ever spot me there.

There's a place for everybody to hang out and have a good time...and that's not a place I would choose, even as a heterosexual. I wouldn't feel comfortable. I've never felt comfortable in that type of environment...

Todd's grandparents used to have a bar in Santa Paula for 35+ years...a beer bar with pool tables, sawdust on the floor, 50 cent beer night...yes, a genuine dive bar. "Okie's" was the name. I'm familiar with those kind of bars.

[BGW]

Originally posted by Mibrew:
Ive been to the Oakroom several times, and the last time I went and saw The Stone Ridge Band, and I had a guy try and pick up on me, but I also have gay friends (male & female)and it really didnt bother me, I'm pretty open minded, but I just told him "its really not my cup of tea" and that was it, the service was terrible, (trying to get a drink) also the smoke from all smokers turned me off, but it also where I found the Pin Ball machine that I like, that I later bought : )

And i bet you had the sticky flipper fixed too! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/angry.gif That flipper put all the skill factors into the game!!http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/lol.gif

[CatdaBrat]

That's how much I know about bars ... I didn't know you could still smoke in a bar.

[BGW]

There is no actual indoor smoking at the Oakroom. However, it is a perfect exampleof why some towns and cities are requiring people to smoke X amount of feet away from the buildings doors. The smoke travels back inside. And, though still not like the bars of old....it is still annoyingly yucky for non-smokers.

[Autumn]

Originally posted by oakhurstleaf:
Stone Ridge band? Never heard of 'em. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif

I've never been to the Oak Room, Oak Tomb, Joke Room dive bar http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/laugh.gif. Don't think you'll ever spot me there.

There's a place for everybody to hang out and have a good time...and that's not a place I would choose, even as a heterosexual. I wouldn't feel comfortable. I've never felt comfortable in that type of environment...

Todd's grandparents used to have a bar in Santa Paula for 35+ years...a beer bar with pool tables, sawdust on the floor, 50 cent beer night...yes, a genuine dive bar. "Okie's" was the name. I'm familiar with those kind of bars.



I love the Oak Room!!

[allsierra123]

and this thread it still going amazingly.

[Mr. Man]

I got dragged to the Oak Room on my birthday. Everyone was friendly. There were a couple of guys there that were drunk and could barely stand up. Regulars I guess, according to the bartender. Wonder if they were the stupid people who offended your friends? They wouldn't have been tolerated by my gay friendly crowd that was playing pool there that night. And we took up half the bar! I don't think I would go there by myself though.