Are you single or attached to someone?

[Sandman]

[Sandman]

I have been in a couple of serious relationships after high school, but have been single for the last few years. It's kind of hard to find someone in a small town. It seems like it's better to find someone in the city, then move up to the hills. Are there any other single people out there? What do you do to meet new people? Bars? Church? Store? Laundry Mat? Perhaps I should be asking the non-single person where they met their partner...

Who has been in the longest relationship out of everyone on these forums? What's your best advise to the single people out there and the new couples?

[Kahlua Kid]

Been with Newcomer for 17 years now... We met in a parking lot - I was still a teen! He stole me from the cradle.

Advice? It will definitely come when you are not looking for it.

But, you have to put yourself out there in the world. If all you do is sit home and have absolutely no interests outside the home, how in the world do you expect to meet Mrs or Mr Right?

And... to make a relationship last - there must be Compromise! (and you must spoil your woman and give her everything she wants, and consistently say, "yes dear", "you are right dear"!)

[Kahlua Kid]

Been with Newcomer for 17 years now... We met in a parking lot - I was still a teen! He stole me from the cradle.

Advice? It will definitely come when you are not looking for it.

But, you have to put yourself out there in the world. If all you do is sit home and have absolutely no interests outside the home, how in the world do you expect to meet Mrs or Mr Right?

And... to make a relationship last - there must be Compromise! (and you must spoil your woman and give her everything she wants, and consistently say, "yes dear", "you are right dear"!)

[Newcomer]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kahlua Kid:
Been with Newcomer for 17 years now... We met in a parking lot - I was still a teen! He stole me from the cradle.

Advice? It will definitely come when you are not looking for it.

But, you have to put yourself out there in the world. If all you do is sit home and have absolutely no interests outside the home, how in the world do you expect to meet Mrs or Mr Right?

And... to make a relationship last - there must be Compromise! (and you must spoil your woman and give her everything she wants, and consistently say, "yes dear", "you are right dear"!) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You got that right!!!!

[Mysteefied]

I met my sweetheart when I moved into town from further up in the mountains, He became my next door neighbor when I moved in and after a few months, we started going out together on a regular basis and now have been together for about 2 1/2 years. We have quite a difference in our age, but it works so well, It amazes me, I have been married and divorced twice and never got along this well with them. Maybe Its because I was so young at the time. Anyhow, Now Carl and I have bought a house together and marriage is on the way....we decided one big thing at a time. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/nice.gif
~C~

[shansard]

I met my husband when I was 17 and he was 19. We met in college. I thought he was a cutie but he was so shy! I had to date his roommate to get closer to him. After we became friends and fooled around a few times I had to chase him for a few years before he realized what a great catch I am. We've been together for four years now, married for almost three months.

It is very hard to meet people in ANY town, one of my girlfriends lives in Santa Cruz and works in San Jose and she swears single men are extinct! I don't really have any tips other than just be yourself and you will meet someone when you least expect it. I was totally caught off guard when my now husband asked me to "officially" be his girlfriend. I was dating another guy at the same time I was dating him (both casually and they knew it).

What qualities are you looking for in a partner? What do you enjoy doing that you'd like to share with someone else?

[TOT]

Your friend must not be looking in the right parts of San Jose... that area is swarming with 'em.

I almost bought myself a ring just so i'd stop getting hit on, esp. at the bar.

[Michelle]

I am married... We have been married for 15 years as of Dec.8th.
We met in a bar..LOL he was coming in the chew out a room mate that had let his dog out of the back yard .. I was the sober driver that night with the two girls I was with and we just clicked and the only two sober ones and thought at first he was a little rude but like i said as we talked that night we just clicked and after that night he searched to find me and ask me out..( it was love at first site with him that is for sure. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/wink2.gif .LMAO)
three months later we were married......
it was the Saddle Rack in San Jose is were we met. (now it is closed)
now 15 years later and four kids .... still married and still going.... http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/eusa_dance.gif

[beautiful_mess38]

weelllll, I met the bigman playing pool on yahoo. I just moved back here from washington state and he lived in VA.
We had a nice online friendship and it grew. He moved out here from VA. and we've been togather now 1-1/2 years.

Advice: Be honest with each other. Trust each other and be each others best friend. Give your partner his or her own space. Never degrade or call each other names. And most important, always be there for one another.

[TOT]

I haven't really had a relationship up here if you don't count high school...

We could go on and on about the dating pool for our age range (if ya date in the same age range)...

But i will say, and i might have mentioned before, i met a really nice guy off of match.com. We went to the Grind, Bass Lake, El Cid's, and a few places in Fresno, too. Unfortunately, i realized that i simply have no interest in dating.

I know of a few people that have had luck with such sites. Might be worth a browse. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/confused2.gif Maybe even a friendster type thing. E-harmony is supposed to be great, but i doubt many people from around here register.

Wish i had better suggestions for ya...

[shansard]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TOT:
Your friend must not be looking in the right parts of San Jose... that area is swarming with 'em.

I almost bought myself a ring just so i'd stop getting hit on, esp. at the bar. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's the thing, she doesn't look, she expects them to come to her, but she goes from home to her car to work to her car to home every day. She's very shy but desperately wants a boyfriend, BUT she wants it to be easy and for one to just magically appear. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/rolleyes2.gif

[TOT]

shansard - 1) bar, i liked molly magee's in mountain view. not many guys in their early 20s tho. 2) starbucks that are in the same building as other shops 3) possibly rasputin (music store) 4) valley fair, if she can tolerate it.

there are soooo many single men up there. even the barnes and noble's might be worth checking out http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/wink2.gif

oh, and the absolute best place (not this time of year tho) to go shopping for men - macy's men's store at valley fair. i used to go there on my lunch breaks http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/blush.gif

[Yosemite_Wolf]

Im single, and always will be. Im definately not interested in the dating scene.... too many head games involved. I just go to work.... and come home.... and go back to work again. When I go out places, i make sure I hide my face i a book when im out to lunch or dinner etc.
As for finding someone special, KK gave the right hint..... Don't be looking.. you try to hard and you look desperate.
Ive never had any desire to get married and have kids....

[Mibrew]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by *Michelle*:

three months later we were married......
it was the Saddle Rack in San Jose is were we met. (now it is closed)
now 15 years later and four kids .... still married and still going.... http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/eusa_dance.gif <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I used to go to the Saddle Rack, did you ever ride the bull?, or sit in the barber chair and do shots?

[Mibrew]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TOT:
shansard - 1) bar, i liked molly magee's in mountain view. not many guys in their early 20s tho.
They are mostly in their 30's and up, a lot of people go there after work and the Tied House

there are soooo many single men up there. even the barnes and noble's might be worth checking out http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/wink2.gif
Hey!! I only go there because they have everything in music and books, and gift certificates for the wifes

oh, and the absolute best place (not this time of year tho) to go shopping for men - macy's men's store at valley fair. i used to go there on my lunch breaks http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/blush.gif <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
They also have the best mens clothes in the area unless you go to Stanford Mall....and the reason for not to go this time of year is because we(Men) hate crowds

[Goddesschyyld]

Have to comment to a post Coldwolf wrote about a week ago; if you are 30 and older in the Mountain Area, there are no dating prospects in this area. It's pretty depressing actually.

[concerned]

If you think it is tough when you are over 30,
think about how it is for me being over 70. My wife passe away in 1996 and I have little or no success in finding someone.

[beautiful_mess38]

Quote from my brother (single)

When you move up here, you gotta bring your own

[Sandman]

That's where I went wrong. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/sad2.gif

[shansard]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by concerned:
If you think it is tough when you are over 30,
think about how it is for me being over 70. My wife passe away in 1996 and I have little or no success in finding someone. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My grandma is single, my grandpa passed away in 1989. She's 69. She's really nice. She used to live in Oakhurst Mobile Estates and she told me the women would fight over the few single men. She doesn't really have any interest in dating (she thinks she's too old) but I know she is really lonely.

[TOT]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by beautiful_mess38:
Quote from my brother (single)

When you move up here, you gotta bring your own <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

that seems to be very true.

oh, something else i've thought of, but haven't actually tried - find yourself an import. there's lots of 'em up here, lots more are visiting & thinking of moving here. some are part-timers in the summer. so i'd think that the lake in summer would be a good time to meet some new people.

[Keith]

I'm single.
Had my soulmate pass away on Christmas morning a few years back. Cancer quickly took her.
I have always had someone in my life to have and to hold , but now it's changed and so have I.
I love life , understand it's meaning , and try to view each day as a warm gift from God .
I am very strong in most ways , but weak in others . I have always found love when I least expected to. Life is challenging , but I would rather be challenged than the alternitive.
I am so glad that I have felt the warmth and tenderness of sharing lifes pleasures ,along with its discomforts, with another person.
I look forward to the day when the door will open again to another chapter. Untill than I walk alone , single ,and unafraid of the future .
I have faith that love will find its way again. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/wink2.gif

[Coldwolf]

Hell, do we actually want to open up on here? Too many people know the pain of loving and being left, or being the ones doing the leaving. I'll admit I've been on both sides of that creek. I was married for a long time, and I blame myself for the breakup. I wouldn't go back to her, but still, I blame myself. Then I learned alot, and learned to give myself fully. To commit myself fully. To worship the love given. And she left me.
Gunshy?
You bet.

[POE]

My best friend and I have lived together as partners for a little over nine years now.

[Grinch's Unicorn]

Technically I'm single, but I voted that I'm not. The reason is that I still feel in my heart that I'm attached to my late husband. I lost him 2-1/2 years ago on the day before my 29th birthday (Beware The Ides Of March!) We were married for 2-1/4 years, but had no children together. I wear my two rings and his ring together, since we both wore the same size. I forgot to put his band on his finger before we buried him, so I wear it along with mine.

I met him down in Simi Valley, shortly after I moved down there. I had a feeling that I was going to meet my husband down there before I moved, but I thought it was going to be someone else. The Lord does work in mysterious ways, and He giveth and He taketh away. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/bigcry.gif

[Mibrew]

How ya doing Poe?

Also, glad to meet ya Grinch, and welcome back to Oakhurst Forums both of ya's http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/yes.gif

keep your eye on a guy named Newcomer, he can be very sneaky sometimes http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/wink2.gif

Juss joshing http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/smile.gif

Brew ~ : ]

[Grinch's Unicorn]

Nice to meet you Mibrew. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/smoking.gif

[Keith]

Welcome Grinch's Unicorn http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/smile.gif

Spent my youth in Thousand Oaks. Simi is nice, hope you are happy up here. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/yes.gif
There is a thread we had about Southern California people, check it out ,you'll be surprized how many there are up here. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/cool4.gif

[Grinch's Unicorn]

Yeah, everyone's trying to get out of there. Pretty soon, we'll all be trying to go somewhere else, lol.

[Lacey]

I'm attached....to Tocools! http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/nice.gif We met 3 years ago on Memorial Day weekend at a board gathering. We had talked for a couple of weeks before we met. He lived in Michigan, which is where the gathering was, and I lived in Oakhurst. A month later he moved out here and it's been all up hill from there. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/eusa_dance.gif

I have made a ton of really good friends from belonging to and posting on message boards like this one. I've been to several gatherings and it's always been a great time. There is something about people who enjoy posting on these boards that makes us all compatible, I think.

My advice would be to find some active, friendly message boards and get to know the regulars. It's not necessary to pay for a dating site, in my opinion.

The one we belonged to when I met TC was Matchdoctor.com. They did away with their message boards and made it a pay site, so we all left and started our own board, but I have a lot of really good friends who have been to my house often that I met from that place. A few of them post here, also. Terrastar is one of them. Palomino is another.

[Yosemite_Wolf]

Lacey is right.. those dating sites are bunk. just join a BB and chat.. and dont expect anything. I once met a gf on line... who invited me down for a party.. and she had a friend in from UK.. who became my fiance.... well, one time fiance. it was/is other reasons that we didnt work out.. but it was fun while it lasted..... ive had my one great love and am now happy as a loner/single mum of doggies.

[TOT]

ugh. and no matter how much you might try to resist it, it will come when you're not looking.

i think i have a crush http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/rolleyes2.gif shoot me now http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/blush.gif http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/embarassed.gif http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/confused2.gif

[Mibrew]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TOT:
ugh. and no matter how much you might try to resist it, it will come when you're not looking.

i think i have a crush http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/rolleyes2.gif shoot me now http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/blush.gif http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/embarassed.gif http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/confused2.gif <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Cheers to you TOT.... its a good feelin, and it also does a body good http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/yes.gif

[Sandman]

Right on TOT. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/yes.gif I hope it works out for ya...

[TOT]

Well, i'm hoping he's gay or married, but for now i'm just trying to lose interest (and making some progress!)

Hope something actually works out for you, Mat.

[Sandman]

Oh c'mon don't be that way. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/no.gif Give him a chance, let him know your interested... maybe not by telling him... but give him some hints. Give him a chance to show some interest back. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/nice.gif You may be happy you did. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/yes.gif

[TOT]

i'm not trying to "be" any way. it's a ridiculous situation. i'm really not interested, at least not voluntarily.

am i the only one that gets involuntary crushes?

[Sandman]

Is a friend trying to play match maker here? I have had that happen to me quite a few times...

So perhaps my advise should be the opposite...

Let him know you are not interested, if that is the case.

[WildRed]

Well I met mine fiancé on Match.com so I'd have to say they're not totally bunk. Also my friend Brett met his soon to be fiancée (popping the question this weekend) on E-harmony—so they do work.

Alan my fiancé was in Seattle working for Microsoft, I lived in Clovis. He quit Msft, sold his house and moved here for me 4 years ago. We now live in Sacramento, and honestly I have never been loved or respected this way. And he loves my son who is six, like his own. Even my ex-husband likes him, he's that good of a person. He popped the question the 22nd of this month. I would suggest not dating until the divorce is final. I had an awful, long drug out custody battle—locked up two years of my life. And I would suggest finding someone who hopefully has all this soft of business taken care of. Relationships are hard enough with out all this added drama.

I have to agree, there's not much in the mountains. It got to the point where pretty much I'd dated or flirted with all the good looking guys in Oakhurst, and I'd start running into them while I was on a date with a new guy. Not good I tell you. I'd say you'd have a much better and bigger selection from the cities.

Don't look for love, it will find you when you're expecting it the least.

[TOT]

crush is over. i was hoping he was really a woman so i could pass him onto you, Mat http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/wink420.gif ah well...

[Yosemite_Wolf]

not looking is the key.. i stopped looking a few yrs ago.. dont really care if i meet someone.. guess you could call me a hermit who prefers staying in her cave and reading books..... and taking the dogs for walks.

[Dodgergirl]

Concerned, I'll have to introduce you to my mom, she's 77 & lives near Bass Lake.
Not a real partier, though she does like to talk........

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by concerned:
If you think it is tough when you are over 30,
think about how it is for me being over 70. My wife passe away in 1996 and I have little or no success in finding someone. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Grinch's Unicorn]

Hey Dodgergirl!

I know, I've had so many things going on, between school, family, surgery, and my own personal episode of cops, my life is never boring.

I'll be glad to see that thing finally running again, especially after seeing it sitting for so long.

Originally posted by Dodgergirl:
Hey unicorn, haven't heard from you in quite a while. Losing someone you Love is undescribable, no one can understand exactly wha you're going through. I lost the 'love of my life' in 1985, he tried to stop a bar fight in Colorado & I ended up with a 4 am phone call. It sucks, ther's no other choice of words here........
The one day I realized a friend I had known for about 15 years liked me a bit more than a friend, we sure pissed off more than a few people when we started dating, but we did it anyhow. It's only been a little over 2 years since we were married, but every day I'm thankful for our time together, even those days when he pisses me off so much i want to hire a hit man........

All we can do is choose to go on each day.........
Oh, and by the way, you might see the tercel running soon, my son has started working on it for auto.......
QUOTE]Originally posted by Grinch's Unicorn:
Technically I'm single, but I voted that I'm not. The reason is that I still feel in my heart that I'm attached to my late husband. I lost him 2-1/2 years ago on the day before my 29th birthday (Beware The Ides Of March!) We were married for 2-1/4 years, but had no children together. I wear my two rings and his ring together, since we both wore the same size. I forgot to put his band on his finger before we buried him, so I wear it along with mine.

I met him down in Simi Valley, shortly after I moved down there. I had a feeling that I was going to meet my husband down there before I moved, but I thought it was going to be someone else. The Lord does work in mysterious ways, and He giveth and He taketh away. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/cry.gif [/QUOTE]

[Dodgergirl]

hey unicorn, you should join us for carnivale on march 12th. It's right down the street at the Elks lodge. You'd have a lot of fun. good to hear from you, it's been awhile.
(your own personal episode of cops, sounds interesting.........)

[Grinch's Unicorn]

Hey Yosemite_Wolf,

Yeah, I've lost a lot of loved ones, too. Some to death and some not to death, but it was really hard to lose my Soul Mate. I'm now just going through the motions and playing out my part. What else can any of us do, it'll all be over soon enough anyway. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/bonk.gif

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Yosemite_Wolf:
Grinch's Unicorn.. it sucks to lose someone you love.... im an oncology RN and i cry for family member who lose their loved ones ALOT. and ive lost a few loved ones... not to death.. but it still hurts. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Grinch's Unicorn]

Oh yeah, real interesting! I don't think I'll be able to make it. I might be out of town since that's a couple of days before the anniversary of my husband's death. I try to get out of town and do something else. I'm planning to take a trip to Florida to see an Uncle I haven't seen in a while around that time, but we'll see if plans work out or not.

Thank you for the invitation, though! If I'm still in town, I'll try to make it. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/jestera.gif

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dodgergirl:
hey unicorn, you should join us for carnivale on march 12th. It's right down the street at the Elks lodge. You'd have a lot of fun. good to hear from you, it's been awhile.
(your own personal episode of cops, sounds interesting.........) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[LindaBo]

I am real single NOW! http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/smoking.gifI,m looking BUT! http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/eusa_dance.gifwith just 1 eye http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/sneaky.gif

[LindaBo]

I am real single NOW! http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/smoking.gifI,m looking BUT! http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/eusa_dance.gifwith just 1 eye http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/sneaky.gif

[Choco-chick]

My husband and I met while working at Sears in Fresno. (Married 5 years now) I was really just getting over a crush on someone else and we became friends and then started going out. Also another co-worker hinted to him that I was interested.
Other relationships I have had have been because I was the one who intiated things, women sometimes have to be the agressive ones.

I think church is a good place to meet people as well.

[TOT]

I've found church is a horrible place to meet someone if you're not looking for someone religious http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/wink420.gif

http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/jk.gif

anywhoo - just boostin' this for the newbies that also dislike the local dating scene (or lack thereof)

[Goddesschyyld]

You are too funny TOT. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/laugh4.gif

I don't think I ever answered this topic....

I am SINGLE! http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/wave.gif

[ROCK40]

ahhhh a pleasing topic:
are we still talking about being single or has the topic progressed?


SINGLE 4 me!!

MATT!! whats up with a speed dating night!! come on playa hook it uphttp://oakhurstforums.com/icon/wink420.gif http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/jestera.gif

[Dawn]

I met my significant other by calling him randomly out of the phone book. I did not even know who he was.

I just was acting crazy with my friends one day and called him out of the phone book and we just started talking from there...

[beautiful_mess38]

I'm attached.
Sorry guys http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/grouphug.gif
well women too http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/lips.gif you know who you arehttp://oakhurstforums.com/icon/rofl5.gif

[Coldwolf]

Originally posted by Dawn:
I met my significant other by calling him randomly out of the phone book. I did not even know who he was.

I just was acting crazy with my friends one day and called him out of the phone book and we just started talking from there...

Geez, if only it was that easy.

[Dawn]

Well...it's really how it happened. It happened by me doing something a little crazy. I guess sometimes doing crazy things are good, I don't know.

[Keith]

Dawn ,
Was this the "I won't buy you a soda guy" with the bald tires, never takes you out and speeds while trying to adjust his radio.
Was that the white pages or the yellow pages?


For the record; I'm single.

[Dawn]

Yeah...that's him... was the white pages

he's confusing me, right now, one day he spends another day he doesn't want to.

when I really start to complain i guess he starts to spend...gave me $300.00 for my birthday i could not believe that one cause he's usually such a cheapskate

finally just convinced him to get new tires put on his car when I refused to see him

[Californee Girl]

I am married to my highschool sweetheart. We met when we were 15/16, and have pretty much been inseparable since. Its a dynamic all its own.

[Yosemite Joy]

Well okay... I guess if you really voice your opinions and not hold back he gets it. So be sure to tell him what a twatish thing it is to humiliate you in public.

Originally posted by Dawn:
Yeah...that's him... was the white pages

he's confusing me, right now, one day he spends another day he doesn't want to.

when I really start to complain i guess he starts to spend...gave me $300.00 for my birthday i could not believe that one cause he's usually such a cheapskate

finally just convinced him to get new tires put on his car when I refused to see him