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Surfus
Apr 14, 2007, 09:33 AM
Battle for 99
Fresno, Bakersfield to play out a sizzling city rivalry on playoff-hockey ice.
By Ken Robison / The Fresno Bee
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<!-- END /pubsys/assets/common/related_content.comp --> It was a no-brainer when the Fresno Falcons named the Bakersfield Condors as their new "hated rival" after the demise of the "evil Gulls" from San Diego.Really now, hasn't there always been a rivalry between Fresno and Bakersfield?
Even without involving pucks, the two cities for decades have been rivals for supremacy in sports -- and culture -- along the Highway 99 corridor.
Fresnans share a few things with their neighbor to the south -- such as bad air. Fresno ranks No. 4 in the U.S. in ozone pollution, but Bakersfield ranks No. 1. So, we've got them there.
To prepare you for the Falcons and Condors beginning the ECHL's Kelly Cup playoffs today in Bakersfield, here's a look at the Valley's big-city rivalry.
With apologies to Charles Dickens, let's call it A Tale of Two Cities.
<hr>Agri-urban sprawl
Fresno: 461,116 (2005 census population estimate)
Bakersfield: 295,636
Why Fresno is better: Big city vs. small town, with a wink and a nod to Clovis
<hr>Quirky, endearing symbol
Fresno: Underground Gardens
Bakersfield: Buck Owens Boulevard
Why Fresno is better: Baldassare Forestiere is a poetic name; Buck Owens ... not so much
<hr>Pro football claim to fame
Fresno: David Carr, Fresno State
Bakersfield: David Carr, Stockdale High
Why Fresno is better: Carr blossomed as a Bulldog
<hr>Famous vocalist
Fresno: Audra McDonald, Tony Award winner
Bakersfield: Buck Owens, "Hee-Haw" picker-grinner
Why Fresno is better: Opera beats Opry every time
<hr>Cultural attraction
Fresno: Metropolitan Museum
Bakersfield: "Black Gold: The Oil Experience" exhibit at the Kern County Museum
Why Fresno is better: More sophisticated, less messy
<hr>Literary references
Fresno: William Saroyan and Gary Soto
Bakersfield: "The Grapes of Wrath" and "The Onion Field"
Why Fresno is better: Native-son poets beat mere city references
<hr>Underappreciated TV series
Fresno: "Fresno," (1986), a miniseries spoof of the popular evening soap operas "Dallas" and "Dynasty," featuring a raisin-empire family. It starred Carol Burnett, Dabney Coleman, Teri Garr and Charles Grodin.
Bakersfield: "Bakersfield P.D." (1993), a quirky cop drama in which a D.C. policeman joins the Bakersfield police department populated by weirdos and imbeciles. It starred Chris Mulkey and Brian Doyle-Murray.
Why Fresno is better: "Fresno" is Grodin at his wackiest
<hr>Hockey claim to fame
Fresno: Falcons won West Coast Hockey League's Taylor Cup in 2002
Bakersfield: Keith Gretzky, brother of Wayne, coached the Bakersfield Fog its first three years, from 1995-98; the Fog changed its name to the Condors in 1998
Why Fresno is better: A real cup is better than hockey royalty
<hr>The Mascots
Fresno: Freddy Falcon
Bakersfield: Colonel Claw'd
Why Fresno is better: A fierce bird of prey beats a storklike critter any day
<hr>Favorite fan silliness
Fresno: When the announcer says, "Bakersfield is skating at full strength," fans yell, "And they still suck!"
Bakersfield: Fans like to heckle the opposing goalie. When that doesn't work, they chant "Ref, you suck!"
Why Fresno is better: Much more clever
<hr>Average attendance
Fresno: 5,116
Bakersfield: 5,848
Why Fresno is better: There's much more to do here

The reporter can be reached at krobison@fresnobee.com or (559) 441-6279.

Surfus
Apr 14, 2007, 09:35 AM
Bakersfield's reply
By Ken Robison / The Fresno Bee
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<!-- end /pubsys/assets/ad_components/textads_storylevel_ibox.comp --> Are we a little sensitive, Bakophiles?


Our ode to the Fresno vs. Bakersfield rivalry in Tuesday's Bee, designed to pump up the Falcons-Condors playoff series, drew a reply from Bakersfield Californian columnist Andy Kehe on Thursday.
Kehe took offense to Fresno winning every category in our comparison. Maybe the truth hurts.
So he fired off his own list in which Fresno beats Bakersfield -- but not in anything we'd be proud of.
In the interest of fair play, and to show we aren't hypersensitive whiners who can't take a joke, here's some examples of Kehe's attempt at humor:
RECENT MEDIA SIGHTINGS
Bakersfield: Eva Longoria
Fresno: Spongebob SquarePants
Why Fresno is better: Absorbent and Yellow and Porous is He
SONG CLASSICS
Bakersfield: "Streets of Bakersfield"
Fresno: Fresno State fight song
Why Fresno is better: More beer consumed during singing of song
FILMS SHOT IN AREA
Bakersfield: "Best of Times," "Thelma and Louise," "North by Northwest," "Five Easy Pieces," "Hell's Angels on Wheels," etc. etc.
Fresno: "Puppet Masters"
Why Fresno is better: Never have to hassle with a festival commission commemorating city's rich film history
OK, Kehe, you got us there. After the Falcons end the Condors' season, your fans will have a lot more time for that film festival.

Kim
Apr 14, 2007, 12:34 PM
1st game of playoffs--Fresno 7 Bakersfield 3. (In Bakersfield's barn)
2nd game of playoffs--Fresno 9 Bakersfield 3-In Fresno.
3d game..Fresno 2 Bakersfield 4...loss for us but not the spanking loss we've been giving.