Patagoniamaniac
Dec 08, 2006, 09:14 AM
What an Idiot!
>>
>>
>>Idiot Number One
>>
>>I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
>>poison control center. This woman called in very upset because she
>>caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
the
>>ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter
into >>the
>>hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened
to
>>mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to
>>kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
>>emergency room right away.
>>
>>Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
>>
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
>>
>>Idiot Number Two
>>
>>Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal
>>a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
>>out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on
>>the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.
>>It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
>>beacon that
>>activated when the raft was inflated.
>>
>>They are no longer employed at Boeing.
>>
>>Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
>>
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
>>
>>Idiot Number Three
>>
>>A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch
>>and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."
>>While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began
>>to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
>>police before he reached the teller's window.
>>
>>So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells
Fargo
>>Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
>>Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling
errors
>>that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she
>>could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
>>America
>>deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
>>deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
>>
>>Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was
arrested
>>a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.
>>
>>Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.
>>
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>>Idiot Number Four
>>
>>
>>
>>A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
>>measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
>>received a ticket in the mail for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
>>of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
>>days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another >>picture, this
>>time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
>>
>>Clever... but you still get a sign
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
>>
>>Idiot Number Five
>>
>>A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all
>>of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag,
>>the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on
>>the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
>>cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
The >>robber
>> said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because
she
>>didn't believe him.
>>
>>At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
>>and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the
>>man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber
then >>ran
>>from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police
>>and gave the name and address of the robber that she got off the
license.
>>They arrested the robber two hours later.
>>
>>This guy definitely needs a sign.
>>
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
>>
>>Idiot Number Six
>>
>>A pair of Michiganrobbers entered a record shop nervously waving
>>revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
>>moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
>>
>>This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
>>
>>Idiot Number Seven
>>
>> Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that
>>he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some
>>booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
>>head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
>>unconscious.
>>
>>It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole
>>event was caught on videotape.
>>
>>Yep, Here's your sign
>>
>>Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote
>>
>>
>>Idiot Number One
>>
>>I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
>>poison control center. This woman called in very upset because she
>>caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
the
>>ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter
into >>the
>>hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened
to
>>mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to
>>kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
>>emergency room right away.
>>
>>Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
>>
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
>>
>>Idiot Number Two
>>
>>Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal
>>a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
>>out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on
>>the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.
>>It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
>>beacon that
>>activated when the raft was inflated.
>>
>>They are no longer employed at Boeing.
>>
>>Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
>>
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
>>
>>Idiot Number Three
>>
>>A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch
>>and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."
>>While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began
>>to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
>>police before he reached the teller's window.
>>
>>So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells
Fargo
>>Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
>>Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling
errors
>>that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she
>>could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
>>America
>>deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
>>deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
>>
>>Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was
arrested
>>a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.
>>
>>Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.
>>
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>>Idiot Number Four
>>
>>
>>
>>A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
>>measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
>>received a ticket in the mail for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
>>of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
>>days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another >>picture, this
>>time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
>>
>>Clever... but you still get a sign
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
>>
>>Idiot Number Five
>>
>>A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all
>>of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag,
>>the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on
>>the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
>>cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
The >>robber
>> said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because
she
>>didn't believe him.
>>
>>At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
>>and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the
>>man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber
then >>ran
>>from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police
>>and gave the name and address of the robber that she got off the
license.
>>They arrested the robber two hours later.
>>
>>This guy definitely needs a sign.
>>
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
>>
>>Idiot Number Six
>>
>>A pair of Michiganrobbers entered a record shop nervously waving
>>revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
>>moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
>>
>>This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
>>
>>Idiot Number Seven
>>
>> Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that
>>he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some
>>booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
>>head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
>>unconscious.
>>
>>It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole
>>event was caught on videotape.
>>
>>Yep, Here's your sign
>>
>>Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote