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View Full Version : NON PC woman jokes *for fun only!


Surfus
Apr 25, 2006, 02:46 AM
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me ... "

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

If your dog is barking at the back door, and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was "Always."

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.


Now I hava a great wife and the jokes about are just for fun.
Feel free to most men jokes.

Kim
Apr 25, 2006, 05:42 AM
Whoever wrote those "jokes" is my dream man. Epic's days are numbered. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/clown.gif

Yosemite_Wolf
Apr 25, 2006, 07:24 AM
no wonder im single.. havent found that dude who likes women to joke about men... except my housemate.. and he is just a cool bro to me

CatdaBrat
Apr 25, 2006, 08:12 AM
I love politically incorrect stuff ... somewhere along the line, somebody decided that we needed the restraints of political correctness to guide our lives and look what happened! You can't force that kinda stuff, it just will backfire on you.

rules, rules, rules ... bah! I blow smoke in the face of PC!!! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/smoking.gif

frmmts2sea
Apr 25, 2006, 12:22 PM
Loved the jokes http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/xxrotflmao.gif

Surfus
Apr 25, 2006, 07:19 PM
Non of the jokes go for my woman.
SHE DONT COOK so she dont even know we have a clock on the oven. But she does know about the one on the microwave.

Pop-Rocks
Apr 26, 2006, 04:40 PM
Thats what he thinks. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/wink3.gif

Surfus
May 02, 2006, 06:39 PM
1. Men are like ... laxatives: They irritate the (ahem) out of you.

2. Men are like ... bananas: The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like ... weather: Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like ... blenders: You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like ... chocolate bars: Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ... commercials: You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like ... department stores: Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like ... government bonds: They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like ... mascara: They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like ... lava lamps: Fun to look at, but not very bright.

BGW
May 03, 2006, 06:11 AM
The RIVER
Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large,raging, violent river.
Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God, please give me the strength to cross the river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice. After witnessing that, the second man prayed,
"God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river." Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once. Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross this river."
Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards upstream and walked across the bridge.