rimalicious
May 08, 2008, 11:14 AM
This morning I was listening to the radio and heard a story from a mother who spoke of her wailing baby in the grocery store and the woman who had the gall to tell her she should not allow her child to act that way. I tried to call in but could not get through.
My 8 year old son is autistic and I cannot tell you the number of times that a trip to the grocery store has been the worst part of my day. Before he was diagnosed and began medication, I remember so many times that I had to leave a full shopping cart in the middle of an aisle and drag him out to the car while he was kicking me the entire time. People stare and judge, some silently and some out loud, and have no clue the amount of grief and heartache that they are adding to the situation.
He has improved greatly but still has less frequent “melt downs.” A few weeks ago, we were grocery shopping and he asked what we were having for dinner. There was something in the cart that he wanted to have but I told him we were having leftovers. The entire rest of the shopping trip, at least 20 minutes, maybe 30, he was screaming “I DON’T WANT LEFT OOOOOOVEEEEERS!” over, and over, and over, and over again. I ignored him as I have been taught both through experience and through parenting classes designed for parents of special needs children. My 9 year old daughter who was with us was mortified. “Everyone is staring,” she said. It is a small town and there were many people in the store who I knew, some who knew of my son’s condition and some who did not. A co-worker stood behind me in line and 2 other coworkers were in line at other check out stands. The well meaning cashier tried to talk to him, get his mind off of it, to no avail. We made it to the car, no kicking this time, and he continued the monotonous repetition of the phrase the entire drive home, about another 15 minutes. When we got home, I directed him to his room and told him he was allowed to come out once he was done. About 5 minutes later he emerged sniffling and I asked him if he was ready for dinner. He said yes and sat at his chair at the table while I re-heated the leftovers.
A couple of days later I was at the store (alone) and in line with the same cashier from that evening. She smiled and asked if my son had eaten leftovers that night and I was very proud to be able to say yes. I think she was surprised.
My point is, when people judge parents, they have no idea what the circumstances are that they are judging. Many times in the grocery store or in other public places I have had other mothers cast a compassionate look or tell me they understand and it will be ok. Those moments are SO SPECIAL and often mean the difference between having my own meltdown and making it through the day. I truly hope that anyone who hears this story will adjust their way of thinking and have a little more compassion and RESPECT for all mothers.
My 8 year old son is autistic and I cannot tell you the number of times that a trip to the grocery store has been the worst part of my day. Before he was diagnosed and began medication, I remember so many times that I had to leave a full shopping cart in the middle of an aisle and drag him out to the car while he was kicking me the entire time. People stare and judge, some silently and some out loud, and have no clue the amount of grief and heartache that they are adding to the situation.
He has improved greatly but still has less frequent “melt downs.” A few weeks ago, we were grocery shopping and he asked what we were having for dinner. There was something in the cart that he wanted to have but I told him we were having leftovers. The entire rest of the shopping trip, at least 20 minutes, maybe 30, he was screaming “I DON’T WANT LEFT OOOOOOVEEEEERS!” over, and over, and over, and over again. I ignored him as I have been taught both through experience and through parenting classes designed for parents of special needs children. My 9 year old daughter who was with us was mortified. “Everyone is staring,” she said. It is a small town and there were many people in the store who I knew, some who knew of my son’s condition and some who did not. A co-worker stood behind me in line and 2 other coworkers were in line at other check out stands. The well meaning cashier tried to talk to him, get his mind off of it, to no avail. We made it to the car, no kicking this time, and he continued the monotonous repetition of the phrase the entire drive home, about another 15 minutes. When we got home, I directed him to his room and told him he was allowed to come out once he was done. About 5 minutes later he emerged sniffling and I asked him if he was ready for dinner. He said yes and sat at his chair at the table while I re-heated the leftovers.
A couple of days later I was at the store (alone) and in line with the same cashier from that evening. She smiled and asked if my son had eaten leftovers that night and I was very proud to be able to say yes. I think she was surprised.
My point is, when people judge parents, they have no idea what the circumstances are that they are judging. Many times in the grocery store or in other public places I have had other mothers cast a compassionate look or tell me they understand and it will be ok. Those moments are SO SPECIAL and often mean the difference between having my own meltdown and making it through the day. I truly hope that anyone who hears this story will adjust their way of thinking and have a little more compassion and RESPECT for all mothers.