electroman
Jun 20, 2006, 01:54 AM
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at
parties now and then -- just to loosen up.
Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and
soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself --
but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and
more important to me, and finally I was thinking all
the time.
That was when things began to sour at home. One
evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife
about the meaning of life. She spent that night at
her mother's.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and
employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read
Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office
dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we
are doing here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I
like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your
thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop
thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early
after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I
confess, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a
divorce!"
But, Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You
think as much as college professors, and college
professors don't make any money, so if you keep on
thinking, we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She
exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was
in no mood to deal with the emotional drama. "I'm
going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the
door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some
Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on
the radio and ran up to the big glass doors. They
didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking
out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling
glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my
eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it
asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the
standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. Which is why I am
what I am today: a recovering thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a
non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's."
Then we share experiences about how we avoided
thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job,
and things are a lot better at home. Life just
seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped
thinking.
I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for
me.
Today I made the final step. I registered to vote as a Libertarian.
parties now and then -- just to loosen up.
Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and
soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself --
but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and
more important to me, and finally I was thinking all
the time.
That was when things began to sour at home. One
evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife
about the meaning of life. She spent that night at
her mother's.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and
employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read
Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office
dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we
are doing here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I
like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your
thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop
thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early
after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I
confess, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a
divorce!"
But, Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You
think as much as college professors, and college
professors don't make any money, so if you keep on
thinking, we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She
exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was
in no mood to deal with the emotional drama. "I'm
going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the
door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some
Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on
the radio and ran up to the big glass doors. They
didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking
out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling
glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my
eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it
asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the
standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. Which is why I am
what I am today: a recovering thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a
non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's."
Then we share experiences about how we avoided
thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job,
and things are a lot better at home. Life just
seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped
thinking.
I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for
me.
Today I made the final step. I registered to vote as a Libertarian.