Second-Chance Boyfriends?

[LindaBo]

Should we give our XXXs a second chance? http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/anxious.gif I gave a X husband a second chance 1 time , and it did NOT work out! http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/rant420.gif but i think there are EXCEPTIONS http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/eusa_dance.gif What do you think ? and when is it time to say HIT THE ROAD JACK and never come back NO more NO more! http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/smoking.gif:

[Sandman]

I broke up with a girlfriend and she moved out, but I ended up getting a call from her about a month later. I hung out with her a few times, but then decided to move on.

I do think that taking a break can be a good thing sometimes if you are having problems in a relationship. Spending a week or two apart will make you realize what your feelings are. Sometimes you get back together and realize you have something good... sometimes you realize you don't miss the relationship so much.

[Dawn]

Thats a tough question. But I think if the ex was not abusive in any way, then a 2nd chance might be worth a try.

[LindaBo]

Yes you are right Sandman http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/stretch.gif when you are away from each other, you DO fing out how much you miss the other and when you have been out with a few JERKS! http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/sick2.gif you fing out the X wasn,t so bad, especially when there was NO Abuse, just Bad habits http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/anxious.gif and Bad habits i feel can be Change, IF they want another chance. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/smash.gif Personality, NOW that is something you can NOT change,this guy just happens to have a great personality, HES Lucky http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/sneaky.gif AND i,m forgiveing http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/eusa_dance.gif

[LindaBo]

I hope they realise that it thats a Lot for us forgivers to Forgive, He was just Lucky that i still Love him* The feeling was still there. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/hungry.gif you eather have the feeling or you don,t and then it is time to move on http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/smash.gif you well know it in your heart, and thats a fack http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/eusa_dance.gif......

[TOT]

100% depends on why ya broke up.

Me? I'm all about second, third, fourth 'chances'.

Of course, it doesn't take long before ya drive each other nuts... but i'd do it all over again still.

[Surfus]

In some cased you can just "Hook UP" http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/wiseguy.gif
with an EX. You dont have to stay overnite

[beautiful_mess38]

Surfus I love your wife and little baby. Your wife and I are going to be good friends.
You keep her she's a good catch

[Californee Girl]

I think that if a relationship is abusive then there should be no room for second chances. Otherwise Im an avid believer and proof of the success in *trying again*

[Dawn]

My boyfriend, the one that used to be so cheap gave me a second chance...I used to always hang up the phone on him when he called and be really rude to him because I wasn't interested in him then and he wouldn't get the hint.

Then one day...I felt bad for being so mean to him and he was just super nice to me like nothing even happened.

[Surfus]

I cant trade her in now it has been 15 years.
I have to wait til she is 40 so I can trade her for two 20 year olds. Only 6 more years.
http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/love420.gif

[monkey]

All relationships go through both good and bad times. I'm all for giving them one more chance, but I have found that at least for me they didn't work out. I am very good at not saying something in the heat of anger that I will regret later.

[Yosemite Joy]

I would never give a BF, etc, a second chance. It would have to be something quite serious for us to seperate in the first place. I think that second chances are doomed.. especially if any trust is broken. Most people who do second chances on Ex's are scared to be alone, or think they can not do better.

[beautiful_mess38]

I think it all depends on the situation.
I would not give 2nd chances to abuse or cheating.
the other stuff needs to happen so you know if you can put up with it or not.
You need to go through alot of crap to strenghen your love for each other. Your partner needs to know what you will not put up with. If your partner makes the mistake he/she knew from the get go the cost of it.
With all of my relationships I learned alot about my self. what i can tolerate, put up with and not put up with. I've also learned to demand respect.
Every person and situation is different. The big thing is; how much are you in love with that person. That alone will give you all the answers.
With sh*thead, i wan't in love with him anymore. Hell I didn't evenlike him, and i gave him alot of chances because I once was very much in love with him. Then I told him to go find some girlfriends cause then I figured he would be with them and not at home. thats how bad I wanted out and how much i detested him.

That relationship with him changed alot in me. thats why now I demand respect.

My relationship with Rick is very easy and comfortable. And he knows exactly what I'm all about and why. Even with him so far away, are love still grows everyday We also trust one another for us to be apart right now. Not alot of people can do that. I'm glad we can.

[Nascar8Fan]

This is a hard subject for me. I was with my x-husband (see the X) for 7 years. We had a great life together, our son was 5 at this time. He decided he needed someone more willing to go out and drink and hang out at bars, so he found somebody else. As soon as I caught on, I moved out with my son and I met my new husband 2 months later. I thank God everyday for what happened because I wouldn't have my two new babies.

I will always believe that everything happens for a reason. My X now lives by himself, single and extremely unhappy. He hates that my life is a happy one and that our son would rather be here with me than with him. Thank goodness in this case anyway, that I didn't even think of giving a 2nd chance.

[Sandman]

Originally posted by beautiful_mess38:
You need to go through alot of crap to strenghen your love for each other. Your partner needs to know what you will not put up with.

This is so true. I don't think there is a perfect relationship out there. Everyone has disagreements and some of the happiest couples I know went through hard times. I know a couple that went through a rough time and seperated. They got back together a month or so later... then married a few years later. They went through a hard time, but I think that hard time strengthened the relationship and made them realize what they had. So, I think some of the best relationships come from second chances. The second chance is when they realize how much they really care. But as far as a 6th, 7th.... 8th chance..... http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/no.gif

[LindaBo]

You know the tables can turn http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/stretch.gif There are guys out there who have taken a girlfriend back* it must have been hard for them, to do that also. http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/no.gif There are guys out there who can,t get rid of the Girlfriend http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/anxious.gif and have to get a restraining order on them too. Every one needs to work out their differences, and i think that is what it is....... And i have this GOLDEN RULE http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/eusa_dance.gif IF you do take the X back? http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/yes.gif at least you should have made grown, with the relationship, and you are able to talk more and feel a better with each other, and you can reach the person. SO many times we don,t talk about our proublems out in the open, i feel this is most of the proublems of a relationship breaking up in the first place.I,m at falt with this! http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/embarassed.gifand i do belive people can chang SOME of the proublems you are haveing with them, am i nuts? i know* http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/shame.gif Second chances can be good, and it can also get what is bothering you out in the open....then if you can,t agree with the proublems and NO one is lissioning, and want to change? THEN in your heart you should know to move on. It hurts but i do belive , out of something Bad there can be something good...to come out of it...any relationship is up against proublems in this day of age http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/eusa_dance.gif morals are almost gone-too many devorices- split familyes----whats on tv now days gives you an un real look at relationships...the only thing i can say is TALK _TALK _TALK. and what do you realy want in a relationship...Be Onest* I know i,m driveing my Boyfriend NUTS :shout giveing him a second chance. I,m letting him know loud and clear what in on my mine NOW! and we talk better and we are open to each other more now--SEE i Gain Ground http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/stretch.gif

[LindaBo]

My Boyfriend is doing pretty good, now i want him to live with me http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/anxious.gif :goofy----SOMEBODY PLEASE SHOOT ME http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/embarassed.gif

[Sierra Lady]

Ah...Sister-in-law if we shoot you who would I console..LOL You and Franky will get it right yet. I have faith in you.

[LindaBo]

Sierra Lady- I,m so lucky to have you for my sister-in law.You are my shrink http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/shame.gif you know how i suffered http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/sick2.gif So you,ll miss me??? http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/blush.gif i guess i need to stick around, just to see what the out come well be http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/eusa_dance.gif..and i need to get even with Franky* he came to me! http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/sneaky.gif OK so he wants More? http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/sneaky.gif http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/shout.gif ok* http://oakhurstforums.com/icon/stretch.gif

[pops]

if u love that person, then i think u should give it another shot if not then !@#$%^ http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/comp26.gif

[Summer]

Hmmmmm, I think the subject here is second chance boyfriends - not second chance husbands - anyway - boyfriends are so much more frivolous subjects - hey, if it don't work out, get out - its a training ground. When you have a husband it gets more complicated - and especially if you have a child. Priority is the children, and although it can be difficult, you have to maintain a polite, conservative relationship for the sake of the children. I know all you single moms out there know what I mean. Its damn hard but thats the best way to go. If you start a war only the children suffer and vise versa. As far as boyfriends go I say I think you can tell what is in store - either you put up or deal with it later. They won't change so don't waste your time if you don't like what you see.

[Kim]

Epic and I are actually the result of second chances given, on both sides....I think that the more time there is between the relationships, the better chance there is of success. We both grew up a lot in the 3 years or so that we weren't together, but still had the basics in common that attracted us in the first place.

[BGW]

My first reaction was: It's called a break-up because its broken!

But, there are too many variables to consider. Say one of you moved away for several years and then moved back into the area....is that a 2nd chance on love or a recommect?

I am not sure that that second chances where one or the other has been pineing away with false hopes and desires that are worthy of the 2nd chance. I feel those are more damaging than anything.

[Wyoming Girl]

I gave my ex a few chances...a few to many..When i found out about the other women
I left.Third strike I was so done.Im happy and getting healthy and loving myself. I will never settle for a man who can not love me and be good to me again. There are no more excuses for bad behavior towards you ...excuses are like assholes everyone has one...I dont need to take more crap..Say No To Drama!!!!!!!!!!

[Keith]

Second Chances don't work.

Why would you return to the past when it wasn't what you wanted in the first place.

You don't return a lemon car and then return to claim it again later.

Life is to short not to open your heart and soul to new and fullfilling adventures...make new mistakes and forget about the old ones.

[High_Roller]

I haven't seen much real evidence that people can change their basic personalities or behaviors, at least not long term. Sure, they may WANT to change, and for a while, many put forth a sincere effort and it appears to be working out. But time is the real test, and in all of the cases I have seen or had first-hand experience with, once things go sour, you are better off just moving on. And so is the other person.

I don't even think that love can change someone permanently. If things go sour and you still love the person you are considering reconnecting with, then do them a huge favor and just let them go with your blessings. They will have a chance, at least, to find somebody with whom they can form a relationship that doesn't NEED a total overhaul.

Sometimes cars aren't the only things that should be towed away and junked.

[LindaBo]

There are people out there who can not let go of that person, until they take you down the tolet with them!.....My neighbor this saturday i could hear a lot of banging against the walls, they were fighting, she told me once befor about hes drinking,,,,,she remairred this guy...and she regreated it! because he said he well change......well! sunday after noon she came knocking on my door and needed help! i let her in she called the police, she had bruses all over her face and arms.No kidding! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/worried.gifI losted it, i started yelling at her...What the F $%$#! why are you staying with this %$%$#! guy?what is keeping you with him?...I told her how she can start over..i told her she was too good for this type of treatment!i was yelling at her! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/worried.gifshe said YOU ARE RIGHT!nothing was keeping her there she was 55, no kids.....i told her to leave him and to not look back!......she went back down stairs, and the police came and took hes GUNS away,and took him off to jail..when i came home from work she was gone http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif...finely some one lission to me...... http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/yes.gif because you see i was in her spot 6 years ago http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/worried.gif and now i,m free also http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/yes.gif

[Dawn]

I've been through all that stuff before too...glad to be free also

[LindaBo]

I have done so good!!!I HAVE NOT gone back to my X.I am NOT weak, lonely,or miss companionship. because i didn,t have any with him any way..... http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/confused.gif He has tryed to call, and email me,a couple of times....I think he has FINELY given up...... http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/snobby.gifWhat is it with guys? What do they Not understand? When it,s Over it,s OVER! Move on! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/smoking.gif JERK! I waisted 3 years on a 1 way relationship..... DO NOT let it happen to you http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/mask.gif

[CatdaBrat]

One chance is enough.

[High_Roller]

Tut-tut, mustn't be hasty!

[Yosemite_Wolf]

hey if they fugg up once.. they are GONE!
I must admite, i do have one that if he came knocking.. id be on him like a tick on a dog.. but for long term... No way. If you fugg up, yer gone.

[High_Roller]

But ... but ... aren't guys inherently prone to fugg everything up? Ye lassies are supposed to show compassion and welcome us back if we give you chocolates and flowers! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/wink3.gif

[LindaBo]

Originally posted by High_Roller:
But ... but ... aren't guys inherently prone to fugg everything up? Ye lassies are supposed to show compassion and welcome us back if we give you chocolates and flowers! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/wink3.gif ...H..#$%$&%&#$%! NO! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/evil.gif and i never got any of that and i still took him back,just out of LOVE,no! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/eusa_dance.gif i think it was because i had no SELF WORTH for my self. Well i,ve got it now! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/smoking.gif

[LindaBo]

Guys don,t get it! when we get just mad at you, thats 1 chance http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/freak.gif when you make us Mad 2 times thats another chance http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/confused.gif 3 times, now we are getting Mad! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/angry.gif 4th time we think about getting rid of you! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/shout.gif but the 5th time we throw you OUT! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/evil.gif....now if you want to come back and we let you in that you think is your first mistake? NO WAY! remember the other 5 chances you had http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/eusa_dance.gif LOLolol....we may for give but we never forget! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/annoyed.gif

[LindaBo]

I well say..Every guy i have been with had a WARNING http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/smoking.gif